Having the opportunity to serve with GEM has been an amazing experience of faith in my personal walk with God. I saw God moving and acting supernaturally in every area that I needed support before moving. As I started working in the school, His Spirit kept giving the help and encouragement I needed to best serve my students.
But as the weeks passed by, I started to focus more on the to-do’s and eventually I found myself frustrated and tired. I felt this way because I was not meeting my personal expectations as a teacher. When we finished the first quarter, I was tired and disappointed at myself for not achieving the professional goals I set. And disappointment is an exhausting feeling.
One day, the Spirit guided me through the scriptures and spoke to my heart through this piece of Solomon’s prayer once they had finished the Temple:
“Praise be to the Lord, who has given rest to his people Israel just as he promised. Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave through his servant Moses. May the Lord our God be with us as he was with our ancestors; may he never leave us nor forsake us. May he turn our hearts to him, to walk in obedience to him and keep the commands, decrees and laws he gave our ancestors. And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the Lord, be near to the Lord our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of his servant and the cause of his people Israel according to each day’s need” (1 Kings 8:56-59).
We know that the path in the desert to the promised land was filled with challenges, idolatry, murmuring, and even doubting God’s provision. The thing that the Spirit made me realize is that even with all these hard events, Solomon looked at the path of the Israelites in the desert and prayed to God, thanking his faithfulness. Even with all the difficulties and the sinful nature of his people, God kept his promise. He sustained them even in their rebellion. Solomon looked to God and remembered how good He is. I realized that I have an unconscious tendency to look at the challenges, the failures, and the wrongs. The Spirit showed me that I needed to change my perspective from the fallen human and imperfect nature to the unchanging, all-powerful, and faithful God we have. God sustained me even in my failures.
It’s important to look back and see how we can improve and make things better. But the real improvement does not come from our independent desire and effort to fix mistakes. As Christians, the only way to improve ourselves is to walk the path of dependence on the Lord – through prayer, listening to His voice in the scriptures, and taking the leaps of faith that He guides us to. Leaving Brazil to come to Mexico was a huge leap of faith for me, depending completely on His grace and support. Now He’s asking me to trust Him in a way that’s not as visual or tactile as it was in the beginning. He didn’t stop sustaining me when I arrived in Puerto Escondido; He is still interested in sustaining me in all areas of my life.
My goal for this next semester is to fully understand and practice Paul’s testimony about depending on God:
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness”. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me (2 Corinthians 12:9-11).
– Jady Vaneli, GEM Missionary Teacher