The last few days I’ve been reflecting on God’s faithfulness to me over the course of the past several years. Unfortunately, this isn’t something that I do regularly. This is usually because I pack my days full of things to do, people to spend time with, goals to achieve, etc. (I’m trying to get better at living within the margins.) But recently, God has been calling to my mind all the ways He has fulfilled requests that I laid before Him years ago that I never imagined He would fulfill in the ways he has.
I don’t know if you’re at all like me, but I tend to doubt the Lord’s goodness. Many times, when he calls me to do something, I, like Moses, come up with every excuse in the book not to do it. It could be because I’m rebellious by nature but it’s also very probable that it comes from a root of fear. I fear that He’s calling me to do something I won’t like because like James says, suffering produces perseverance. I fear that I’ll crumble under the weight of whatever He’s called me to do because I’m not equipped to do it. I fear that in the moment I need Him most, He won’t be there and I’ll be forced to figure things out myself.
Of course, in my heart of hearts, I know these things to be false.
I know that God promises to be with us always and forever. I know that He is not only the Author but the Perfecter of our faith which means that even if we aren’t initially equipped, He will equip us. I know that He has experienced every temptation and is intimately acquainted with every type of struggle in this life to the point that He will give me the strength I need for what He’s called me to do because He knows exactly what it requires. But sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. It’s only when God reminds me of His past faithfulness that I see beyond the doubts that cloud my thinking to the truth of who He says He is and what He says He’ll do.
One of the biggest ways that God has reminded me of His faithfulness has to do with a prayer I prayed 7 years ago. At a summer camp I felt the Lord putting missions on my heart, specifically living abroad in a different country and working with children. It’s not like the clouds parted and I heard a voice from heaven say, “Maggie, I want you to live in a different country and work with kids.” But the sense that I was being called to something of the sort came after watching a video about a Child Sponsorship organization. It was then that I felt so strongly that God wanted me to do that, but I had no idea how it would play out or where I would get the opportunity to leave the country. Before then I had never left the United States and I had only been on a plane a handful of times. So that night at camp I prayed for the opportunity to go and I left it in God’s hands.
It was exactly 1 year later that I left for my first mission trip to Ethiopia where I would teach youth an overview of the Old Testament. Now, of course, at that moment I thought “Wow! God! This is the answer to that prayer!” But, now I see that that was just the beginning of what God had for me! Not only would I go to Ethiopia a second time, I would end up graduating from college and moving to a completely different country to work at a school with… guess what… kids!
Now I will be the first one to tell you, living in Puerto Escondido, Mexico has not been a walk in the park. There are daily challenges with the language, the culture, and the ways of doing things that can make day to day living a struggle.
But I will tell you, I have never in my life felt more content doing what God has called me to do because I know that I am exactly where He has called me to be. Through the struggles and the many joys over the past year, God has made Puerto my home and has fulfilled some of the deepest desires of my heart that, if I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure would ever be fulfilled.
But it’s not in these things that I find my security. I find it in knowing that my God knows me better than I know myself. He knows exactly what I need before I can even breathe a word of it. Not only that, but as my good Father, He delights in giving me the desires of my heart, because if I remain in Him my desires will mirror His desires for me.
I never imagined feeling so at home in a place that is so different from Durham, North Carolina, but my Father knew and has led me here so that I would fall even more in love with Him and His people in this incredible place.
Thank you, Jesus, for this beautiful gift of Puerto and the many, many friends who have become just as close as family. I owe everything to you. Forgive me for the times I have doubted and will doubt you. I know that with you this is just the beginning of a lifetime of reckless love and limitless adventures.
-Maggie Addison, GEM Missionary
If you’d like to support Maggie as she serves with GEM in Mexico, you can do so HERE. You can also contact her directly to talk further about what it means to be on her support team and find out how you can be praying for her!