I think everyone has heard the quote that “comparison is the thief of joy.” There have been times in my life where I’ve needed an hourly reminder of that truth and other seasons when I can go weeks without the constant struggle.
This past Saturday, I decided to walk down to the beach near my apartment to meet a friend. Normally, I would hop in my car and save the sweat but I felt an inkling for a nice cool walk on a rare brisk fall morning here in Puerto. I recently moved back to the neighborhood I lived in when I first moved here. Four years ago, taking long walks in this area of town was my safe haven. It’s where I spent most of my afternoons chasing sunsets, praying, finding new places to explore and escaping my lonely apartment. My walk on Saturday got me reminiscing on those days.
There is no doubt that those days were hard. They were lonely, full of transition and change, challenging,
and oh so very hot. I used the streets of this neighborhood to pass my free time and in a season of difficulty, and God grew me as I walked them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be here but I definitely struggled. I struggled with comparison; wishing I could experience Fall, missing cooler weather, feeling like my family and friends were so far away, wishing I could be closer to loved ones, wishing I could eat familiar foods, and even take a hot shower. My list of discontentment could have probably gone on for quite a while. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely great joys in moving to a new country. I loved my school, our precious ministry, the new people I was meeting, the amazing beaches, and learning a new language. But this season of life was uniquely challenging. In the challenge, I was desperate for Jesus every minute of every day. I was constantly drawing near to him, seeking him. Craving more of him. In this season, God made me look more like him.
My list of discontentment could have probably gone on for quite a while. Don’t get me wrong, there were definitely great joys in moving to a new country. I loved my school, our precious ministry, the new people I was meeting, the amazing beaches, and learning a new language. But this season of life was uniquely challenging. In the challenge, I was desperate for Jesus every minute of every day. I was constantly drawing near to him, seeking him. Craving more of him. In this season, God made me look more like him.
In the drawing near, I found peace. In the seeking more, I found the most beautiful sunsets at the end of the street that were a display of his glory. In the craving, I found the meaning of thankfulness and learned to count my blessings. In those moments that felt like I had less than what I had living in the United States, I learned that in Jesus less is so much more.
Four years down the road, God took me back to those streets I walked on a daily basis. And I found myself admiring the beauty of this place. I find myself again in a season of change. Living in a new apartment, new responsibilities as the principal, an approaching wedding day, my sister moving back to the states. But Jesus used those hard days to strengthen me and I am better for it. I always say that I never want to go back to those months when I first lived here. But I also would never trade them. They taught me so much. I know what contentment in Jesus looks like because of them. I am not perfect at it; I have good days and bad days but I know where my joy comes from and I won’t ever let anything take that from me.
Sarah Hindin, GEM missionary